Behind the Phone
by Kadext
Summary: Dave left his number in a romance novel, meaning to pick up some hot babes, but is bewildered when Karkat gives him a call.
1. Chapter 1

Karkat was being quiet. This of course, was the second bizarre phenomenon of the day, the first being he was at the library. Now don't get me wrong, Karkat was one to enjoy a good romance novel from time to time (Sarah Dessen preferably; that 'they're not even black but they're each other's downfall' Stephanie Meyer shit was not his cup of tea. Even Sarah Dessen wasn't that great, because one quadrant romance novels were weak as shit), but he was no Rose Lalonde. This time, actually, he was researching for a school assignment with his partner, John, who was nowhere to be found. Being stuck with the prankster and class clown was not a situation Karkat had agreed to willingly, but due to the will of asshat teachers, it was what had happened all the same. Karkat swore to himself that if he got them kicked out by putting a spider in the librarian's hair or something he would plant a foot up the kid's ass.

Moving through the shelves quietly, feeling quite awkward without his usual stomping gait, he began picking out some books that might be helpful to researching their topic. It was obvious to him he'd be pulling all the weight on this paper, which really got him steamed. He wasn't exactly a straight A student like his stuck up brother, or anything much more than a B average at all, but he would be damned if that goddamn Egbert kid leeched off of his slightly-above-average grade.

He took the books he had collected and began his search for Egbert. He wandered the sections one by one, and eventually found himself in the romance section. There was a stand full of new arrivals, and Karkat guessed he could spare a second to browse, since he was already there anyways.

Picking up one at random, he opened it up, and was surprised and angered to find a brief messaged scribbled on the inside cover.

"Hey babe," it proclaimed obnoxiously, "Call me for a good time." A phone number was scrawled beneath it, along with a suggestive winky face.

Karkat had half a mind just to put it back where he found it, and leave the responsibility, of reporting the vandalism to the library staff to someone else.

But at the same time there was this little nag of curiosity in the back of his mind. Who was this prick, and why the fuck had he—

"HEY KARKAT!" came an incredibly loud and annoying voice from down the shelves. Karkat started, his books flying everywhere, and in his hurry to pick them all up again he didn't even realize the romance book was in the stack, mainly because he had shuffled it to the bottom. John came running up to him, exclaiming, "Hey, what are you looking at?"

"Nothing of your concern!" he snapped loudly, before realizing again that they were in the library. Changing his volume to a whisper shout, he said, "And shut your fucking mouth, we are in a library!"

"Oh yeah!" John whispered back, laughing quietly as they started searching for a table, "Hey, why are you in the romance section anyways?"

Karkat stifled an eye roll. "I don't know John, why does anyone browse books?"

"Point taken. But isn't that stuff, ya know, girlie?"

"As if I really care."

They found a clear table, and set down their stuff to get to work.

"Here, try to find some information from this," Karkat said to John, handing him a heavy book on economics.

John groaned loudly, taking it from Karkat. "Do I have to?"

"If you want, I could shove your head up into your ass and you can work that way."

"Fine, but for your information, you are no fun."

Karkat rolled his eyes, and with that, got to work.

)0o0(

Karkat crept into his house, quietly shutting the door behind him. Kankri had his study group on Wednesdays, sometimes late into the night, and Karkat didn't have the time for an hour long lecture on the triggering qualities of loud noises.

But, as if by the will of troll Lucifer himself, Kankri walked into the living room anyways.

"What were you doing out at such a late hour? Not hanging out with those irresponsible friends of yours I hope?" Kankri said, in his most accusatory tone.

"For your information I was working on a partnered research paper for school, and I got it cleared with Crabdad anyways, so you can get off of my case." Karkat paused, for a moment. "Why the hell do you care anyways?"

Kankri closed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, a surefire sign of a full blown lecture, but Karkat was already was already up the stairs and in his room by the time he spoke the first syllable.

After safely locking the door to his room, Karkat sat down at his desk and rummaged through his bag, pulling out the romantic novel he had picked up earlier. He opened it up and looked at the phone.

It was time to make a call.

)0o0(

**A.N. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH! No but really, thank you so much for reading my first chapter! I've never really written much fanfiction, and I feel like there is such a lack of good Davekat fics, so I felt like hey, why don't I give it a shot? Stick around for more chapters to come!**


	2. Chapter 2

Dave was bored and balancing a pencil on his lip was not helping.

He had already run through his usual list of things to do. Attempt homework (Haha, no), text his friends (Rose was on a date and John and Jade had some bullshit essay to write), and write some rap lyrics. Failing this he usually played some videogames or wrote some more sweet bro and hella jeff, but he really wasn't feeling it today.

Plus his bro was off of work today, and he was home. That meant one of two things. Hell was freezing over, or he had just gotten dumped by his flavor of the month. Dave didn't care though, it's not like Bro ever brought them home. It did, however, mean he had to stay out of his way. Dave didn't want to be pulled into an unnecessary strife. So that meant other than sneaking around he was pretty much confined to his room.

And that left him here, sitting on his bed, balancing a pencil on his lip, trying to figure out what to do, when his cell rang.

Dave, wondering who the hell would call rather than text, answer with an ironic, "Yo."

"Hello?" he heard a nervous voice ask. It was pretty high pitched, and kind of raspy, completely unfamiliar to Dave. No one he could recognize, at least by voice.

"Who is this?" Dave asked, confused as to who had gotten his number.

"I don't know, who are you?" the person asked accusingly.

"I asked you first," Dave pointed out.

"You're the one who had the audacity to write their number in a public book," they shot back.

Dave blinked, surprised. He had forgotten about his totally ironic note in that book (mostly because no one else had called). He didn't even remember which book he left it in.

"You're the one stupid enough to call it," he replied after a second's pause.

"I'd like to know who's responsible for me having to take precious time out of my schedule to report the book having been vandalized. I should've expected that you'd be such a douche," the guy sassed back.

_This guy is a piece of work, _Dave though bitterly. He remembered the title.

"Dude, that book was for chicks, I was trying to pick up some ladies," Dave said, snickering at him, and also the ironic fact that he himself read the book, (and liked it, but Dave was not so self aware to know that yet).

"Romance is fine literature, and who the fuck said it's for girls?" the guy huffed angrily, "I find them very interesting, and anyone who says otherwise can shove it up their fucking ass."

"No man, romance novels are like the lamest things in existence. Half of them don't even have any plot other than that kissy-gooey-lovey shit." Dave scoffed, "Action is where it's at."

"That steaming pile of crap? Wanna talk about no plot, there's a perfect example! All of it's just explosion and fight scenes that defy the laws of physics. There's nothing real about them!" the guy on the other end spat.

"And what exactly do you think is realistic about people throwing themselves at each other?" Dave pointed out calmly.

"You know what, why the fuck am I even discussing this with you? Just give me your name so I can get this stupid conversation over with."

"No, I don't think I will." Dave liked messing with this guy.

"Vandalism is a nuisance and should come with consequences!"

"Are we done here?" Dave was kinda bored with listening to him rant.

"No, I'm not done yelling at you!"

"You know what I think?" Dave said, continuing before the guy could say anything, "I think you _like_ talking to me."

"What?! No fucking way! I wouldn't even be having this conversation if it weren't for you and your stupid little note!" came out of the phone so loud Dave had to hold the phone away from his ear.

"I guess I won't be hearing from you again then." Dave said coolly.

"No, you most definitely won't!"

"Good."

"Great!"

"Bye." Dave hung up the phone. It was better he didn't have to deal with that guy anyways. So why did he feel so disappointed?

)0o0(

Karkat, in a complete rage, had just slammed his cellphone onto his desk and was now sitting in his desk chair with his very pink face in his hands.

He was angry, (Oh yes was he angry), but there was also this weird feeling of curiosity. And a strange small fluttering in his heart. Was that really it? He had called wanting the guy's name but had gotten something much different.

He had gotten a crush.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: So sorry this has taken a week or so to be put out! I was in the hospital for a while and didn't have any time to type it up, but be expecting more regular chapter updates soon!**

Karkat hated school. There wasn't a thing in the world that compared to his hatred for it. He always spent the day bored, with nothing to do but listen to the teacher drone on while doodling in his notebook.

Today, however, was much different. Karkat's mind was very preoccupied with the phone call he had last night. That, and thinking about the book he had checked out (And was already finished with).

He couldn't help but wonder if the guy would call him. Maybe he would tell him who he is today. Or better yet, maybe he wouldn't, and Karkat could go on having a black crush for him without things like image getting in the way. Of course, Karkat wasn't admitting to himself that it was a crush at all, because doing that was too difficult and embarrassing. He did think that the whole mystery seemed straight out of a romcom, but that was as far as it went.

Still, he felt kind of empty when he thought about how he probably wouldn't call him. He really had no reason to, considering the catastrophic conversation they had yesterday. Still, Karkat had this sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he was thinking about him too.

Karkat felt his phone vibrate his pocket. He stealthily brought it out and found that John had texted him.

J: are you as bored as i am right now?

K: I GAVE YOU THIS NUMBER SO WE COULD WORK ON OUR PAPER, NOT TEXT IN CLASS YOU IDIOT.

J: wow you really need to lighten up! plus i can see you across the room, and you so aren't paying any attention.

Karkat looked up at John, who waved and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at him.

K: THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

J: i think you met someone.

Karkat flushed and glared at John, who was now giggling at him.

K: I DID NOT.

J: whatever you say karkat :B

Karkat was about to put his phone away when it vibrated again. He opened it exasperatedly, expecting John had sent him another text to bother him. Instead it was from an unregistered contact. Karkat's heart raced a bit as he opened it up.

?: hows the book going babe ;)

K: WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW.

?: still pissy i see

?: why do you type like that anyways do you really have to shout everything you say

K: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT, YOU DIPSHIT. ANYWAYS, I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T BE BOTHERING ME AGAIN.

?: dont act like you didnt miss me

?: no but really where did you get to

K: YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW, YOU DIDN'T READ IT.

?: who the fuck said i didnt read it.

This took Karkat by surprise.

K: YOU SAID IT WAS GIRLY.

?: it is i only read it so if a girl called i could prove i was a true romantic

K: ALRIGHT PROVE IT THEN.

?: the guys name is alex and the girls is teresa

K: YOU COULD GET THAT MUCH OFF OF SPARK NOTES, I'M NOT AN IDIOT. TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE PART.

?: fine i liked the part where the guy apologized to the girl by making her a scrapbook full of photos of them

K: YEAH THAT PART WAS OKAY.

?: wait theres no way youve already read that far it was like at the end

K: I'VE ALREADY FINISHED IT NUMBNUTS.

?: shit man

K: I LIKED WHERE THE DIALOGUE OF WHEN THE GUY CONFESSED HIS LOVE FOR THE GIRL. ESPECIALLY THE PART WHERE HE BROUGHT OUT THAT CANDY SHE LIKED

?: i just think all of its too unrealistic though

?: like how would you remember such tiny little fucking details

?: youd have to be like some creep or something

K: SAYS YOU. MINE ARE TWIZZLERS IN CASE YOUR EMPTY HEAD SOMEHOW FOUND A WAY OF WONDERING.

Karkat looked up and realized that the teacher was giving him a meaningful look.

K: I HAVE TO GO, BUT…

Karkat hesitated.

K: I'LL TEXT YOU AFTER SCHOOL.

At the other end of the same school, Dave was raising his eyebrows in surprise. But also, he also kind of smiled at it.

)0o0(

Karkat ran into his house, flying past a bewildered Kankri, and bolted up the stairs, slamming his door loudly. He had no time to care about his brother's triggers, or about the impending lecture that would come about when he came down for dinner. Right now he was just focused on his mystery companion. He had a lot of questions to ask, but the one that bothered him the most was about the identity of him. The whole situation seemed straight out of a romcom, and he was more than happy to go along with it.

Plus, the mystery of it all was positively thrilling. This guy, asshole as he was, could be anyone. The least popular guy in school, or even the most. It was exciting, as weird as it was for Karkat to have that emotion.

Pulling out his phone, Karkat sat down at his desk. He then realized he had no idea how to start up a conversation with this guy.

He was sitting there pondering what to say when his phone vibrated in his hand.

?: are you home yet im bored as fuck

K: YEAH, I'M HOME. AND IF YOU'RE BORED DO SOMETHING FUCKHEAD.

?: are you always this charming

?: anyways i am im texting you

K: YES, I AM THE FUCKING MAYOR OF CHARMSVILLE. I'M SUCH A SWEET PERSON THAT I MAKE ROCK CANDY SEEM LIKE A FUCKING LEMONHEAD.

?: you are such a fucking dork

K: SO YOU REALLY HATE ROMANCE RIGHT?

?: dude i thought we cleared this shit up

K: I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF ROMCOMS ALSO FALL INTO THE CATEGORY OF 'WATCHABLE BY IRONY'

?: fuck no you like those shitty things too

?: forget mayor of charmsville youre like the king of lame

?: like youre up there with inhalers and allergy medication

K: YEAH WHATEVER DOUCHEMUFFIN. THE HELL DO YOU DO FOR FUN THEN?

?: you know sweet bro and hella jeff

K: THAT DIPSHIT COMIC? DON'T TELL ME YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THAT CRAP.

?: it is like the epitome of ironic humor

?: the guy who wrote it must have been a fucking god

?: with some sick shades or some shit like that

?: and maybe some hella rapping skills

K: WHAT, DO YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF BRO CRUSH ON THIS DUDE OR WHAT? AND NO, I'VE NEVER GONE NEAR THAT PILE OF GARBAGE. TO DO SO WOULD BE IMPAIRMENT TO MY CORE VALUES OF A PERSON WITH DECENT TASTE.

?: you shouldnt judge such a masterpiece before actually reading it

K: YOU'RE ONE TO TALK.

There was a pause in the conversation.

?: okay okay heres a proposition

?: you read some sweet bro and hella jeff and ill watch one of your stupid romcoms or whatever

Karkat considered this for a moment. He didn't really care, but at the same time, what exactly did he have to lose?

K: FINE. BUT IF I FIND YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY WATCH IT, YOU'RE GARUNTEED MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS.

He made a disgruntled noise and closed his phone. This guy was so lame, yet he also had this urge to prove something to this guy. He had this weird urge to respond to his texts, even when they were the absolute bullshit.

On that note, this guy seemed way too flashy. Karkat had watched enough movies to tell a real personality from a fake one, and this guy was really pushing it. But at the same time Karkat felt this other side of him peek through sometimes, like when they were talking about romance. He wondered what this guy was hiding.

And with that troubled thought, he fell asleep.

)o0o(

**AN: There should be a big plot turn in the next chapter, so look out for it! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I keep forgetting to thank all of you guys for your wonderful reviews, favorites and follows! So yeah I'm gonna do that now. Thank you! I have a feeling you guys will like this chapter. So yeah here goes! (Oh yeah and this chapter takes place a few days after the last one, just to make that perfectly clear)**

Dave was dreaming. Or day dreaming to be sure. His mystery correspondent was like this little nag in the back of his mind, only instead of sitting there it was shouting at him in the same cantankerous demeanor as said person. Whole bucketfuls of brain power was being poured into thinking about this guy, which was kinda okay by Dave, since he never paid any attention in class to begin with.

He and this guy had been talking for about a week now, discussing things like sweet bro and hella jeff and the rom coms Dave himself begrudgingly had watched. As stand-offish as he was, the dude was pretty well versed in romance and actually kind of profound. Dave sort of admired his uncanny knack for emotions, of which he himself was absolutely clueless.

Dave wondered if they should meet someday. He assumed they were from at least the same

area, so it wouldn't be that hard to find a place to meet up… but did he actually want to ruin the big secret?

He felt his phone vibrate. It was John.

J: i am bored as shit, hbu?

D: pretty fucking bored

D: you still doing that dumb ass assignment or can we hang tonight

J: nah i am still busy. oh that reminds me, you totally have to meet my partner, he is so fun to mess with

D: do you know if rose is doing anything tonight then

D: and yeah sure ill meet em if youre that hyped up about it

J: she did not say she was doing anything with kanaya so i assume no. i would ask her though. man you are gonna love this guy, he's hilarious.

D: yeah if you say so dude

Dave switched to texting Lalonde, not really invested in the conversation he was having with John.

D: rose you busy tonight

D: i need to talk to you about something

R: Is it really that important that you can't send it over text?

D: yeah

R: I'm busy tonight, but I guess if it really means that much to you I can take a second to meet you now.

D: meet me on the roof

)0o0(

Dave was standing on the roof for a good five minutes before Rose showed up, a look of impatience on her face.

"You sure took your time," Dave said teasingly.

"My teacher was being such a moron about letting me leave, even though I haven't missed a single one of his class periods," Rose said, shaking her head in irritation, "Now what was so important that you needed me to play hookie? And if it's something stupid I may hit you."

"No, I actually need some serious advice here. Like psychoanalysis type shit." Dave took a deep breath and said, "So I wrote my phone number in a romance novel to pick up chicks right?"

Rose raised an eyebrow. "You read a romance novel?"

"Who said I read it?"

"So you didn't read it."

"Well, yeah, I read it but you shouldn't make assumptions."

Rose shot him a look, but said, "Continue."

"Okay, so then this guy calls, and he's this huge whiney annoying asshole, and for a while I hated him, but now we've been talking for a while and I think I might actually like him? Like in a non-platonic way."

"I'm not seeing the problem yet."

"Well, I don't know, I just never thought of myself as exactly gay? Except for ironic purposes," Rose gave him a look of annoyance, but before she could say anything Dave continued, "And I can't really even understand these feelings I have. We're complete opposites in pretty much every way."

Rose tilted her head in thought. "Did you like the romance novel?"

"Now is not the time for you to be looking for your next good read."

"Just answer the question."

Dave sighed, "Yeah, I guess so. I thought I wouldn't cause all that crap is so cheesy and fake, but it was actually kinda nice."

"And why do you like this guy?"

"He's pretty sappy, but he knows a lot about how people work and I guess I find that cool? Plus he's a kinda nice guy once you get past the whole asshole part of him."

Rose nodded like she had been expecting that answer. "Your feelings for that book are a lot like your feelings for this guy. I think it was your previous misconceptions about his personality, and of your own self that were making you feel otherwise, but it's obvious that now you can see the good in both things. Sure there are things in either one that you don't appreciate as much, like the lack of realism in the book and the front that this guy gives, and those will be a challenge if you choose to pursue either, but it doesn't mean that your feelings for the other parts of them aren't justified."

Dave nodded slowly taking in what she said, "So you think that I should go for it? Even though I'm like an idiot when it comes to all that mushy gooey crap?"

Rose smiled at him in an understanding way, "It all comes down to his decision really. If he is as good as understanding emotions and people as you say he is, don't you think he would already know that? So if he does say yes it's because he understands and accepts that, not because he made a mistake. So in short term, you should definitely go for it."

Dave gave her a dazzling smile and said, "Okay, thanks."

"If that's it, I think I'll be heading back to class." she started to leave, but turned before walking down the stairs. "I know you doubt yourself a lot, but go with your gut on this one."

Dave felt his phone vibrate again and pulled it out of his pocket.

J: hey, come meet me outside my english class if you want to meet my partner.

Dave sat down against the wall of the door to the roof, deep in thought. He certainly wasn't going back to class, not with so much to think about. The white noise of his teacher talking can be a nuisance.

This guy, this stupid guy, made him realize who he truly was. He remembered a conversation they had over the phone yesterday…

)0o0(

"Hey, do you ever feel like you have to hide your personality from other people?" his mystery crush had asked.

"I mean I guess so. People say I hide behind irony and being a total cool kid, but I've never really seriously thought about it." Dave had replied, shrugging even though he knew he couldn't see.

"I usually cover up my emotions with anger, or so I'm told. I feel like, if no one can get close to me, I can't be hurt, I guess." he paused before blurting out, "I guess that's pretty stupid, huh?"

"No, I can get that," Dave said, reeling from the fact that he had just perfectly described his feelings on the subject, "Actually I do that too."

"But, I kinda feel like, maybe," he sputtered, embarrassed, "I don't do that with you. Like you see the real me."

Dave had blushed and covered his mouth, glad that no one was around to see him lose his cool.

"Yeah man, me too."

)0o0(

Dave headed down the steps, making his way down to John's english classroom. He only had to wait outside the door for a few seconds before the bell rang and students came pouring out, including John, with one of the weird grey kids that went to the school in tow. He looked sort of familiar, and Dave realized he was in his gym period.

"Dave, Dave!" John called out as he made his way to stand in front of him. He stepped out of the way so Dave could get a full view of the now irritated kid. "This is Karkat."

"'Sup," Dave greeted him offhandedly, looking down at the troll, who was at least a foot shorter than him.

"Yeah yeah, pleased to meet you or whatever the fuck. Can I go now?" Karkat turned to John, who said something about staying and chatting in return, but Dave was far past the point of hearing him. His heart had nearly skipped a beat, and he could feel his ears and face turning pink. He knew that sort of raspy, a little bit whiney and definitely high pitched voice. It was that of his mystery caller.

"... Dave? Dave!" John said loudly, now almost nose to nose with him, waving his hand in front of his face, "Are you okay? You look like you have a fever!"

Karkat looked on, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. There was no recognition on his face, not that Dave could see at least.

"Yeah!" Dave said too quickly and too loudly, his voice cracking. After taking a second to regain his cool, he managed to sputter out, "Y-yeah I'm fine. Uh, look, it was nice meeting you Karkat, but I've really gotta run."

"Okay, but promise me if you're feeling sick you'll go to the nurse, okay? You passing out in class is not worth being the cool guy who never goes home sick." John said in concern, before grabbing Karkat's arm and pulling him away.

Karkat spared one last confused glance at him, and Dave waved awkwardly before realizing what he was doing. He then abruptly turned and walked as calmly as he could to the exit, and out of the school. He got to his car and sat down in the drivers seat, breathing heavily.

Karkat hadn't even recognized him, and Dave wasn't sure if he was grateful or disappointed. He also wasn't sure how he felt about him being a troll, because he had heard some weird things… but then again, he had been pretty fucking cute.

_No way, fuck that noise, _Dave thought to himself, shoving the thoughts out of his mind, promising himself he would think about all of it later, when he got home.

Arriving at his apartment, he placed his keys in the dish by the door. His brother, currently seated on the couch, opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Dave saying quickly, "I wasn't feeling well and the nurse sent me home." And dashing up to his room.

Dave flopped down on his bed and ran his fingers through his hair. He had a lot of thinking to do.

)0o0(

**AN Shits getting real son! Thank you all again for reading this far, and for all the follows, favorites and reviews this story has been getting. I appreciate it all! OuO**


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N. Thank you for all your super sweet reviews and favorites! Sorry this chapter took so long ^^'**

Dave had been thinking all night, but when he rolled out of bed the next morning he still had no idea what the fuck to do. He hadn't responded to the couple of texts he had gotten that night. Definitely not the ones from Karkat. He was okay at acting, but he didn't think he could with Karkat. He didn't really think he could lie to him.

He was still very conflicted on the whole matter. Rose had helped a lot, and he was sure he had feelings for Karkat and that he wanted to act on them, but _how? _And also there was the matter of Karkat being an alien species, but he supposed he would cross that bridge when he came to it. He didn't figure it would be a problem though, considering how cute he had been regardless of his odd grey skin and horns.

Dave got dressed and straightened his hair, and off to school he went.

)0o0(

By the time Dave got to his gym period he had already mentally prepared himself for his second encounter with Karkat. Of course that didn't keep his heart rate leaping like a fucking jackrabbit on steroids when he looked over to see Karkat opening his locker only about six feet away from him. He couldn't believe he hadn't even realized that his locker was that close.

Nothing could really prepare him for when he watched Karkat start to strip. He could feel his ears turn pink as he hastily busied himself with what he was doing, sneaking glances every now and again in curiosity. Karkat was surprisingly lean and in okay shape, but the large red scars that went up his sides were throwing Dave. He wondered exactly what they were from.

Karkat looked up and Dave realized he had been staring.

"Can I help you?" Karkat asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Uh, no," Dave said, turning back to his own locker in embarrassment. He closed his locker and leaned down to tie his shoe. The locker room was starting to clear now, and it wasn't long before he and Karkat (currently preoccupied with trying to get his shitty unfitting gym uniform tied and positioned in a way that he wouldn't kill himself trying to participate) were alone.

Dave finished tying his shoe and went to open the door to the gym. It didn't budge. He pulled harder. He even risked looking like an idiot and pushed on it, only to be faced with full on panic when he realized it wasn't going to budge. He was locked in. With Karkat.

Said grumpy troll came up behind him, "What are you waiting for? Open the door."

"I can't, it's like jammed or some shit," Dave said as calmly as he could, demonstrating by pulling as hard as he could on the handle.

"You're fucking kidding me," Karkat groaned, pushing Dave aside. He tried the handle himself, putting as much force as he could into it, only to come to the same conclusion. He banged on the door with his fist, "HEY WE'RE STUCK IN HERE!"

Dave went and sat down on one of the benches, watching Karkat as he continued to call for help. He was half praying for someone to come and get them and half praying that they wouldn't. Why were all his feelings so confusing lately?

Karkat gave up after only a few minutes of his obnoxious cries for help, and came and sat down a foot or so away from Dave. They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes before Karkat spoke up.m

"So you're friends with John," Karkat stated.

"Yup."

"Figures," Karkat said under his breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dave said back, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing. You just seem the type to hang out with someone so shallow," Karkat said, illustrating his point by waving a hand in his direction.

"Hmph." Dave responded, trying not to feel hurt by this comment.

There was another lapse of silence, and Karkat pulled his phone out of his shorts pocket and started texting. Dave just sat and twiddled his thumbs, considering the only person he had interest in texting was sitting right next to him.

It only occurred to him that may also be the case for Karkat when his phone went off in his pocket. Fresh panic jolted through his body as Karkat looked over in a disinterested way, only responding to the sound. It was only a matter of a second before he put two and two together. Dave rushed to pull out his phone and turn it the fuck off, but it was too late. Karkat sent another text and Dave's phone beeped again.

Dave looked up at Karkat, who was in turn staring at Dave, wide eyed. Karkat flushed deeply and covered his mouth, looking away, for only a second before peeking a glance back at him.

"Oh," Karkat practically squeaked.

Dave couldn't help himself as he started to grin, and winked at Karkat, "Hey babe."

"Fucking-" Karkat blurted, swatting Dave on the arm, "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?!"

"It didn't exactly come up. What was I supposed to say,'Hey I'm Dave the guy you've been talking to for about a while hows it going'?" Dave retorted.

"Well- I- Urghhh," Karkat responded angrily, not able to come up with a good response. There was a small bit of silence.

"So I'm gonna go out on a limb here and address the elephant in the room," Dave said, gaining courage, "Because I don't know about you, but I've been really hankering for some sloppy makeouts if you catch my drift."

Karkat gave him a look of disgust, "If that is your idea of a confession of love I think I'm going to be sick."

Dave's heart dropped. "So that's a no?"

"No, that's a 'Find a way to express your feelings in a non-douchebaggy way'," Karkat said, looking at him with knowing eyes, "I know you're better than that. So prove it."

Dave was mulling this over when the door suddenly burst open and in walked the gym teacher. "There you two are."

Karkat got up and walked out without saying another word to Dave, and with nothing left to do, Dave simply followed.

)0o0(

"So what happened?" Rose said barely a second after Dave had answered the phone. Dave was at home, sitting in his computer chair, still perplexed by all that had happened.

"How did you even know I said anything to him? You and your damn assumptions."

"What you're telling me is you didn't."

"No I didn't say that. Yeah we kinda got locked in the locker room together like some sort of cheesy anime scene, and he ended up texting me while we were in there and spilling the beans."

"Your dodging of questions appears to be irrevocable. What happened when you told him about your feelings?"

"He rejected me. Kind of."

"Really?"

"He said that I had to find a way to tell him in a less douchbaggy way."

"Oh Dave, what did you say to him."

"I don't remember the exact words, and if I did I still wouldn't tell you."

"How disappointing. I could probably write a book on the human psyche just based off of that statement."

"It was more of a question but whatever. Now if you don't mind, I have to figure out some stupid romantic scheme to get the crown, save the town and Mr. Krabs."

)0o0(

**A.N. Yes I ended with a spongebob quote. I feel like this chapter is shorter than I intended it to be but eh. Don't worry guys, fluffy stuffs soon. I promise ^.^**


	6. Chapter 6

When Karkat got home he went straight into his room, heaving down his stuff and laying out on the floor. He sighed and stretched, reflecting on the conversation he had with Dave earlier. He found it hard to believe that someone like him could be the same person who he'd been speaking to over the phone. But then again, considering what they had talked about it really wasn't surprising at all, and thinking back Karkat could actually identify similarities in their, er his, speech patterns.

Karkat actually felt pretty shitty about what he had said to him. He knew in his heart that Dave had just been insecure about his feelings, but even so, Karkat knew if they were going to make this work Dave needed to be serious about it. Karkat felt if he was willing to try a second time it would be all the confirmation he needed.

Still, Karkat was pretty regretful that they didn't makeout. He wasn't going to lie to himself, Dave was pretty attractive. Dave wasn't the only person who looked at others in the locker room.

Karkat dozed off easily, dreaming of sloppy makeouts.

)0o0(

Pink. Pink. Thunk.

Karkat jolted awake as a large stone hit his window loudly. Wiping the sleep from his eyes and wondering who had the audacity to wake him from his nap, he stood and looked out the window. He was surprised to see it was already dusk, and also that Dave was standing on his lawn with a boombox playing some shitty romance song and a one pound bag of twizzlers. Karkat opened the window, flabbergasted.

"What are you doing here?!" he whisper shouted down to him, "If Kankri catches you out there we're both dead!"

"'Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night'," Dave quoted flawlessly, "I'm here to show you how I feel in a non-douchebaggy way."

"Why are you doing it from the lawn? And did you just quote shakespeare?" Karkat asked, feeling he was catching on to the theme.

Dave turned off the music, "You always wanted life to be like a rom com right? So, just for tonight, I'm gonna make it one."

Karkat wasn't sure whether to facepalm or jump for joy. This was the cheesiest, stupidest and most wonderful thing anyone had ever done for him. His inner romance critic was screaming about all the stupid cliches, but at the same time the rest of him was screaming to just run with it and have some fun for once. This was the voice he listened to.

"Now, will you join me for dinner?" Dave called up, making Karkat feel a rush of excitement. He hadn't even realized there was more to this then what he had already been presented. Karkat held up a finger and peeked out into the hallway. The coast seemed clear. He returned to the window and called down, "Wait there."

"As you wish," Dave quoted, mock bowing.

Karkat crept down the stairs and out onto the lawn. He was greeted by Dave, who held out the bag of twizzlers for Karkat to take, "An apology gift."

"If I remember clearly you said it was creepy to remember little details," Karkat teased, taking it.

"Did I? I don't remember tiny things like that."

"Point taken."

Dave grabbed his hand, pushing up his shades so they were on top of his head and Karkat could see the sincerity in his eyes when he said, "I'm really glad to have met you. And that you gave me another shot."

"Yeah," Karkat agreed, giving him a shy smile, "I guess I'm pretty glad of it too."

Dave brought his other hand up to cup Karkat's cheek, leaning in and kissing him gently. A tingle ran up Karkat's spine as he responded, the tender kiss quickly deepening as-

The sound of a whistle blowing broke through the otherwise quiet lawn, startled the pants off of both of them. Karkat looked up frantically to see Kankri standing in the front doorway, hand on his hip and looking pissed. He swore loudly as Dave tugged on his arm.

"Run," he said, pulling Karkat along to his car, currently parked on the curb. Karkat threw one more hasty glance at Kankri before getting in the passenger's side.

"I'll be home in an hour or two," he said, closing the door as Dave started up the car. Kakrat said to him, "Hurry, before he goes and gets any ideas."

And off they went

)0o0(

"You're not doing it right."

"What? I am so. You're the one sucking too hard."

"I'm doing it fine! You gotta move your head differently."

"I'm trying to- oh my god we're making such a mess."

Dave and Karkat were sitting in an italian restaurant trying (with much difficulty) to do the lady and the tramp spaghetti thing. They both had sauce all over their faces and hands, and they were getting more than a few dirty looks from the people around them.

Karkat picked up his napkin and wiped off his face, "You know this might not even be possible. It is from an animated movie."

"Nah man we just gotta keep trying," Dave said, searching for another noodle long enough. Finding one, he put one end in his mouth, looking expectantly for Karkat to do the same. Karkat sighed and put the other end in his mouth, and they both tried eating the noodle. Like the many times before it, the noodle snapped well before they were even close to kissing, but this time Karkat leaned forward and kissed Dave anyways, who was surprised but happily obliged.

As they broke apart Karkat asked, "Okay can we go now? I'm starting to think we might have a riot on our hands."

"Yeah," Dave agreed, grabbing Karkat's hand as they exited the restaurant. They stepped out into the dusk, and Karkat went to get into the car. Dave stopped him by gently pulling on his arm and saying, "Oh no, we're not leaving yet."

"Hm?" Karkat hummed, turning around. He made a noise of surprise as Dave put his hands on his hips and hoisted him onto the hood of the car.

"One sec," Dave said, opening the car door and leaning in for a second before emerging with the bag of twizzlers he had given him earlier. He boosted himself onto the hood and handed them to Karkat, "For your snacking pleasure."

"Oh? So what now?" Karkat asked curiously.

"Stargazing," Dave answered with a grin.

"And just when I thought this couldn't get any more cliche."

Dave laughed at this, leaning over and putting an arm around Karkat as the looked up at the stars. Karkat rested his head on Dave's shoulder, smiling contentedly.

"Thank you for this," Karkat said quietly.

"It's no problem," Dave said, "This kind of stuff is pretty cool actually. I'm glad I could do it all with you."

Karkat was glad it was dark to hide his blush. He couldn't think of anything to say that adequately expressed how he felt, so he responded by leaning up and kissing him instead.

He got the message.

**A.N. And there it is folks! I'm not quite sure where to go from here, so if this ends up being the last chapter don't be surprised. Don't worry though! I have a whole other fic I've already started writing. I had a lot of fun writing this! Thank you all for reading!**


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